Peter Phillips is a London poet. In his fifth collection, Oscar and I: confessions of a minor poet, (Ward Wood Publishing, 2013) he departs from his usual voice and introduces the fictional poet, George Meadows. The poems chronicle George’s ups and downs as he blunders through his sometimes amusing, sad and eccentric life, where marriage, romance and friendship collide with poetry, his beloved dog Oscar and, of course, wine. For more about Peter, see his online pages on the poetrypf website.

ARRIVING AT A LITERAY FESTIVAL

Welcome George, thanks for being prompt.
Are you going to read your fish poem? It must
have become quite a curse around your neck.

You mean the one about a trout, or was it a turbot?
I usually try and judge what an audience want,
so if they look like fish lovers, I don’t read it.

Surely if they like fish, you would read it?

Oh no. Don’t forget, on the surface

the poem’s about a grilled turbot,

but underneath it’s about sexual behaviour,

so if they are fond of fish as a species,

then I wouldn’t want to cause any upset

by grilling a turbot. You understand

I have to be PC these days.

You’re so sensitive. Our audience will love you.

Not at all, I always put the punters first;

you never know what oddballs are sitting out there.

We don’t want to offend the fish brigade, do we?